WWJD?

Bless me friends, for I have sinned, it has been over two months since my last blog post. What can I say? My creative juices were frozen under the unrelenting snow of this winter from hell and it took the premature summer weather to get them flowing again. I'm a little rusty but thank you to those of you who requested a new Silent But Desi post, it's nice to know that someone is reading!

The lesson for this blog is acceptance. It was never my intention to make this blog preachy but this past Sunday was Easter and I actually went to mass (which probably won't happen again until Christmas Eve, sorry Mom and Tammy) and I guess it has me waxing biblical, or at least trying to ask What Would Jesus Do? more often. Why, you ask? Because my friends, there are a lot of stupid people on this planet and killing them is not an option (that's one rule that crosses the secular/religious divide), leaving me no choice but to accept that which I cannot change. Or at least bitch about them in my blog, so here we go...

Public nail clippers: there is a man whose office is in ear-shot of my desk at work and he seems to think that is the perfect place for a personal nail salon.He clips his fingernails (God, I hope it's just the fingernails, my gag reflex is preventing me from thinking of the other possibilities) at work, in his office, with the door open and this has become a regular thing. The metallic "clip".........."clip"............"clip" sound is worse than nails on a chalkboard--yet another spine-tingling sound. Obviously people, this is a part of the human body that was never intended to have auditory functions. Now, if he were the only person I've encountered this appalling habit with maybe I could deal, but there is a large group of people who feel that clipping their nails in public is perfectly fine. Jesus, take the wheel....


Church-goers: My trip to church spurred this one on.  I know, this seems like an odd one. I mean, these people take an hour out their weeks to go mass, they must be good, right? Don't you see friends, that is the genius of it! These people have found a loophole in which to flaunt their social obnoxicity (a new word!). They feel a trip to the chapel gives them carte blanche to ack like idiots, and frankly, if I were God, I'd be pissed. Ok, not ALL people who attend church fit this category, but there are enough to warrant a mention in this blog. These are the people who have conversations with each other during the homily like they're in a coffee shop. Look, I realize I'll never be on the VIP list at the rectory, but I know enough to keep my mouth shut while I stand and sit and stand and sit and stand and kneel and shake my neighbor's hand and sit and stand again. Then there are the people also insist on bringing their bratty kids who are so bored that the only way they can get through the hour is by annoying the hell out of everyone around them. When did parents stop scaring the shit out of their kids with the evil eye in a public place? Is that grounds for calling CPS now too? I experienced it and I turned out just fine. Get a grip on your kids people! Lord, grant me the strength.

And finally...

Republicans: really, does this need any explanation?

We cannot change these people so we have no choice but to accept them--I don't think 10 Our Fathers and 12 Hail Mary's is going to cut it if we kill them.